Justice is a word that I have thought a lot about since coming back from Sierra Leone. In fact it is 11:00 and I should be sleeping, but thoughts are running throught my head and I can't sleep. Justice...I just don't get it. I don't understand how I can live a life that is characterized by justice. Yeah, I can pray and give my money, and be an advocate, but that doesn't seem like that is living a life that is characterized by justice. It seems to be the easy way out. The easy things so that I can check them off my Christian to do list. That is not enough. Yes those things are important and I am not underestimating the power of prayer, and giving, and advocacy, but is that really all that we are supposed to do. God tells us to love justice, and to loose the chains of unjustice.
There is a line in a song that says, "We sit here, debating the meaning of justice, self righteous men, and an upper caste grin. We're still suffocating on quicksand indifference, where no choice is ever that hard."
Is all this thinking abd debating in my head simply because I don't want to act. Is it easier to think about justice, then to actually adminster justice. Or maybe I feel frozen, because I don't know how to adminster justice. I don't know how to let my life be one that is characterized by justice.
"This is not about charity, it's about justice. And that's too bad. Because we are good at charity. Americans are good at charity. We like to give, and we give a lot, even those who can't afford it. But justice is a higher standard. Africa makes a fool of our idea of justice, it makes a farce of our ideas of equality. It mocks our pieties, it doubts our concern, and it questions our commitments. Six and a half thousand Africans are still dying every day of preventable, treatable disease, for the lack of drugs we can buy at any drug store. This is not about charity. This is about Justice and Equality." (Bono)
This is not an easy fix. I think that is what I want. I want a solution, a checklist, a step-by-step plan of what I can do. But it isn't like that. Those kind of solutions take away from faith and trust. Wrestling with it brings me to my knees before the Lord. A place that I often tend to stay away from. I like to be standing. I like to know all the answers. I like to have it all together. But I don't. I don't have all the answers, in fact I don't have very many answers at all. And I think that I am slowing learning to be okay with that. Slowing learning that I can't make a flow chart for every area of life and have my life completly mapped out in a nice sequential manner.
So on my knees I will stay.
"Justice at its best is love correcting all that stands against love."
I wanted to come up with a nice conclusion for my rambling thoughts, but there isn't yet a conclusion. I still don't understand justice. I still feel frozen, not sure how to act. And for now, that is my conclusion.
Red dirt is everywhere in Sierra Leone. It covers your house, your clothes, and especially the bottom of your feet. My feet have walked the dusty red streets of Sierra Leone and I will never be the same again.
2 comments:
Sarah,
Your angst is good and God given. The question is now what do you do about it? The fact is that poverty and injustice is a gobal issue that can't be "fixed" by an individual on a global basis. But I would suggest that you can change poverty and injustice on a small scale. What if you sponsored a child from an organization like Compassion International? For that child you have dramatically changed the world in this life (and the next since it is a Christian organization that works through local Evangelical churches).
Don't lose the vision. God will use it.
Sarah,
Reading your thoughts is like reading my own journal. How to act and if so why? What is my motivation - pity or love, charity or justice? To move beyond simple pity and charity requires a constant engaging of the heart and soul, and a willingness to have your heart completely shattered...I for one struggle with my willingness to do anything more than give some money and talk about "the cause"...and that sickens me about myself yet..do I have the gumption (for lack of a better word) to get up and live justice and love even in my everyday life? I don't know. But I want to.
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