Some Deeper Thoughts

“I know my call despite my faults and despite my growing fears. “

I don’t remember who said this quote or in which book I read it, but when I first heard it, it stuck out to me, and I wrote it on the inside cover of my Bible. And it’s something that I’ve been thinking a lot about as I am back in Sierra Leone. I 100 percent know my calling and know that I am suppose to be serving with Children of the Nations in Sierra Leone. The Lord has placed that strong calling upon my heart, for which I am grateful. It is that confidence and calling from the Lord that I cling to when I miss home, or when I am frustrated by things here. But I like this quote also for what the next part says . . . "despite my faults."

There are so many times when I think, What is God thinking, putting me in this role. Surely there is someone more competent to be doing this work. I don’t know how to help Sierra Leoneans run a school, or how to 1,000 children who are lacking basic literacy and mathematics skills. But it is in spite of my faults and my weaknesses that God has called me here. It is in my weaknesses and my lack of experience and expertise that God shows His power.

". . . and despite my growing fears . . .” While most of the time I absolutely love my life here in Sierra Leone and feel privileged and blessed to be here, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that there are fears that come up. Mostly they are fears about the future and what that holds, but other fears can creep into my mind, making me wonder what I am doing here or what else the Lord is going to call me to do.

With the combination of fears and faults, it would be easy to want to quit and give up. But that calling, that confidence of knowing that the Lord has called me to do this, and learning to trust that His plan and His will are good and are the best is what continues to drive me through those hard days.